This is a very powerful topic. This is a topic that can trigger people. I believe that’s a good thing because that means it’s moving energy. If it feels fully comfortable throughout this entire topic, then likely you’re not being completely honest with yourself.
I also see it with my son at four and half. He has his own patterns too. Even at that young of an age, it can begin. Imagine year after year, experience after experience, how we can go further away from the truth of who we are. We are wired this way as a coping and survival mechanism.
Wherever you are in your life, give yourself the gift of being honest with yourself.
Think about this story. At certain stages, you may not truly know how honest or not you are being with yourself. It could be something as simple as telling yourself you will only have one cookie out of a pack of ten when you know that’s not the truth. Then it’s important to look deeper and ask yourself why you’re even having a whole pack of cookies or a whole bottle of wine rather than a glass? You’re probably trying to numb something where you are not being honest with yourself in the first place.
Areas of dishonesty may be a relationship that isn’t feeding or sustaining you, a career, or a habit with yourself. If you are lying or pretending that something works for you when it doesn’t, that is a lot of energy to be numbing.
How many places do you go or how often do you hear yourself saying words but in your mind you’re questioning what you’re saying?
Do you know the difference between honesty and jealously?
Do you ever find yourself going around singing words of a song? Listen to the words. They will tell you a lot about how you really feel. There is such power in that.
Some ways you will know that you’re not speaking your truth include disharmony in relationships. This can be experienced on different levels from blatant disharmony or a sense that something is more subtly off. You might notice you create self-sabotaging situations.
I invite you to sit with this. What is your truth? Some days you may feel that your truth is really different than it was another day. For example, you may tackle a goal in your career and once you go for it, it ends up not working out. Notice if you then put yourself down and change your truth because it didn’t work or note that you are resilient and will keep moving towards your truth.
Reflect on who you share your truth with.
A way to tell that you are being truthful is that you feel peaceful because there isn’t disharmony.
Come into your heart, and connect with that. You will have all the answers. If this is a lifetime of needing to not be honest with yourself, please give yourself time and patience to remove those layers.
For example, perhaps you are feeling insecure in your relationship. Ask yourself, aside from that person, what are you feeling insecure about?
Where is the hurt?
Where is the pain?
The more honest we can be with ourselves, the more natural it becomes.
You have the choice to live as honestly with yourself as you can be. Take inventory of your life and relationships and note where there is disharmony. Go deep into those areas.
Where might you notice you are comparing yourself to others?
Where do you feel like you often get offended?
Which relationships leave you exhausted after spending time with them due to your own persona you maintain with them?
Who do you feel that you can’t fully be yourself around?
These are all signs that you are not being completely authentic with yourself. Once you’re able to shift this and every time thereafter, you’ll feel a deep sense of freedom. When we aren’t using energy by trying to be something that we aren’t, it gives us freedom to be ourselves. It doesn’t take any energy to be our greatest, most natural, true selves. It’s you expressing you.
Ask yourself, ‘Who Am I?” and write down what comes through. You will notice you may have to have some honest conversations with people. They may be uncomfortable but you know and trust it is for your highest good.